Facing the reality

I guess when one lives closer with family; one will notice or see things more in-depth.

Since I am back for just 2 months, I encountered 2 things in which sadden me but I will have to face the reality of life.

A hospital referral letter clipped on the whiteboard caught my attention this morning. The letter stated to refer dad to ear specialist and the appointment is scheduled to be on 9th Sept. When asked, I only came to know that dad has encountered hearing problem on his right ear for few months lately. As usual, he keeps as secret from his children.

Last month, dad suddenly felt discomfort in his chest while eating halfway. The food got stuck in the esophagus, causing him the discomfort. I can see his worried face and panic till he vomited out in the end. Again this has been happening for few months ago which was also kept secret. He would not seek the doctor for this matter but he has changed to eating in smaller portion and eating slower. So far the problem did not occur again.

All these little health problem made me realized that human is so fragile and we are just temporary on this earth. Much as I want to think positively and to face the reality, I guess my mind and heart speaks differently. Other than worries & concerns, fear is another strong feeling that I sensed. Though these health problems may seem minor, but I know that everyone inclusive of me will need to face the fact one day. And the thought of it made fear creeps in.

I wonder how others can face the reality with much courage and full of faith. I want to give my best and sometimes I often have doubt on my own capabilities. I have second thought whether have done my best? Have I love him whole heartedly? Does he feel my love and care?