The over flowing bucket - letting out

It has been awhile since I last posted.

My working life has jeopardized everything. Being working till midnite and weekends didn't seems to be enough for my superior and yet the demands were more. Starting from zero knowledge, I had to pick up bits and pieces till up to the stage of begging others to help me. Luck were not on my side. All the pending matters arise when I had to take over. Sacrificing from staying and enjoying company's event, we stayed up till past 1am while my superior is having fun with over flowing alcohol. And that's just one part. I have to face her screamings and loud voice each day for things that I can't meet her expectation. Got screwed for being 5 minutes late to office. Why? I got credits for being late but not staying late.

I've came to realization that my pail of patience is full when I rebuked back at her. It all happened when she wanted us to do a competitive review. Apparently I were scolded with an 'F' word for things that not my fault. We never do such competitive review before since 2006. Yes, my superior was so mad that she wanted it in 3 days. How am I suppose to deliver.. and I still need to attend to other clients' needs.

My team-mates were grumbling and we didnt realize that she was right there when I spoke and she was unhappy.  So she thinks am the bad one who complaint. If  it's wasn't how she reply me, I wouldn't just let out my frustration or rebuke back. So yes, her reply triggered me. And she didn't talk to me for the whole day.

Frustration kept adding on when I had to face her scoldings, screamings & orders. Am trying my best end to help out my colleague on her absence but I feel un-appreciated. The whole scenarios made me feel like a slave. I really felt how difficult it is when she fully over-sees on my work, during my senior's absence.

I remembered on my previouspost that am proud to  make till this day. Yes, that's one thing.. but I lost who I am. Experience is good but it should put to an end when things had gone over the limit. I just want to say I had enough. I had tried my best and I want to move on.

I guess God is testing my patience. I've been praying that God will guide me to the right path, because God knows best. I am hopeful and will be patience.