2009 reflection

This is the first grand Christmas decoration that I’ve saw. I was rushing to buy a birthday cake in KLCC and the decorations caught my attention.

How time flies without me realizing it. It’s Christmas season again and it also marks that the year 2009 is going to end soon. I am happy to see the decorations are up but at the same time I felt saddened. This is how the people today perceive the meaning of Christmas. It’s a time for gift exchange, putting up Christmas tree, carols & party. It is so commercialize now. I can’t feel the meaning and warmth of Christmas. Christmas to me is about the humble Christ that was born at a stable.

Advent is here and I have yet to reflect about my faith life and to prepare for the second coming of Jesus Christ. The year is ending soon and I felt that I’ve let the time to slip by me. I have not sat back and to look back on the many events and experiences that has taken place.

Looking back, it was indeed many happenings in my life. There are faith, personal relationship, career & family. I’ve joined St. Ignatius Spirituality Exercises for about 2 years now. What have I learnt and where am I standing now? All my sharings tell me that I’m such an imperfect person. There are so many areas that I need to work it out. It’s still a long way to go in my journey of faith and I pray for God’s grace that I may have the courage & determination to continue.

I’ve also started a relationship after much thought. It was indeed a very difficult decision. There were objections and critics. The whole scenario tells me that I’m not living my own life but to let others to take control of me. I learnt to understand about myself and yes, I’m very easily being influenced and I do not have my own stand. For once I learnt to listen to myself and to stop listening to the other voices around me. I felt a break through that I’ve managed to get out of the circle. How far will we go will be still a question but I have faith in us.

Without realizing it, I’ve worked 4 years with this company. I started to re-think about my career when my director & close colleagues left and I was all lost. This transition period taught me to gain back myself that I’ve lost and to realize my potential. The support from friends helped me to move on. My new career will be totally a different experience and the unknowns are fearful to me. I guess it part of the human nature to be fearful but I hope I may overcome it with courage.

As I looked through the pictures that I’ve developed, I felt happy and a sense of accomplishment that I made it happened. All my planning and my effort paid off to see dad’s wide smile as he cuts his birthday cake this year. I’m just feeling glad to be with him on his birthday. I hope and pray that I may continue to love him and to understand him in his silent way.